Cream-of-the-Crop Discount Insurance

We insure only the VERY BEST people (premium payers)
We offer the LARGEST "No-accident" DISCOUNTS in the industry
We will give ADDITIONAL DISCOUNTS
If you have multiple vehicle insured by us
If you also have your homeowners policy with us
if you have good medical history (and good credit history)
If you get good grades (and are over age 25)
We want to be YOUR auto insurance company
If you have not had any accidents (or other claims)
If you get good grades (and have a degree)
If you drive less than 2 miles a day to work (and less than 5000 miles per year)
If you are in perfect health
If you have a clean driving record (and no citations)
If you have a sufficiently high credit rating
If you are over the age of 25 (and under the age of 50)
If you have above average income (minimum bank balance of $5000)
If you insure all of your vehicles with us
NO LATE FEES
We automatically dip into your bank account (at our then current rates:-)
We are constantly IMPROVING our rates (and our profits:-)
We keep our premiums low (with high deductable limits:-)
Almost INSTANT claim service (One strike and you're out:-)
We offer full replacement cost (of your car's current condition:-)
(and you are willing accept our settlement quickly on our terms:-)
You will not find a cheaper company (Guaranteed:-)